How Secrets Can Negatively Affect You
Even if it hasn’t taken on the form of a secret life for the keeper, inner conflict is one negative, inescapable effect of harboring these secrets. Do you reveal or continue concealing? Who is the best and most trustworthy person you can reveal this secret to? Are you prepared to face whatever reaction they may have to your revelation? This one question of “to tell or not to tell” creates anxiety, stress, and worry, which can even be manifested physically. Such stress and worrying can affect you physically through headaches, back pains, high blood pressure, digestive problems and even depression in some cases.
Another adverse effect of keeping secrets is that they can ultimately destroy relationships–with family, friends, spouses, and other people you may deem important in your life. Some secrets have been kept for so long and have been carried on through a façade that when it gets out, it takes everyone by surprise and eventually hurts certain relationships. Secret affairs, illnesses, addictions, or past actions can all have this effect. In some of the most extreme cases, the loss and depression that the keeper may feel over these ruined relationships may even lead them suicide just to be able to escape this very heavy consequence.
Why It’s Time to Tell
Revealing your personal secrets to someone is a step in the right direction if you want to rid yourself of the burden of hiding something from everyone for the rest of your life. Revealing your secret relieves you of all the anxiety and stress of concealing and deception. The truth is, most secret keepers are really looking for an outlet– wanting to release themselves from the burden of keeping the secret and hearing what other people have to say about it. They are looking for someone to empathize with them.
The key to successfully freeing yourself lies in the safe place or person you choose. You want someone you can trust and who can bring you new insight into your secret. You want a person who will listen and avoid judgment, be discreet, think constructively, and help you get through the process righting any wrongs this secret may have caused.